PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
