So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Houston, we have a squirter
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Tornado booty call.. dedication
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
