so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
