i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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