awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
cat food counts as protein by the way
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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