I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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