of course. lets lasso hookers.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize