If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
