you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I intend to get homeless drunk
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
