I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
