Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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