dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
