If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
