He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize