Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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