you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
