If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
