i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It's not a walk of shame if you run
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize