Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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