what day is it and did you see me today?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Randomize
