nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
