So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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