ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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