i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
