How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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