can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
