After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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