i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
