this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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