I'm really into asian looking animals
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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