gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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