And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
