So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
