ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
