Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
