She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We just shotgunned beers for America
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
