he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
