I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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