And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
