i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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