I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
