Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize