There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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