piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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