he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
