I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
