Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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