im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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