i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
