i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
