I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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