i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
