Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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