He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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