Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
