I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
