I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
