If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
