Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize