How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
